


Incongruous World

by Alopex



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Coming of Age, Fantasy, Friendship, Gen, Not shipping but there is a big focus on their platonic relationship, Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-20
Updated: 2014-10-05
Packaged: 2018-02-13 21:56:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2166612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alopex/pseuds/Alopex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wanting to experience something other than sheltered suburbs and the fantasy world he grew up in, nineteen year-old Dipper Pines sets out on a long trek across the country in the hopes of discovering himself and learning more about the real world. Accompanied by a past acquaintance, he soon discovers that the 'real world' is just as peculiar as his childhood summer home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Autumnal Excursion, in which Someone Summons a Sandwich.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic would not be possible, nor as thought-through and developed as it is if it wasn't for my good friend eveningrun on tumblr, who stayed up with me late into the night on multiple occasions as we bounced back theories, ideas, and characterization. I'm deeply grateful for her support in this fic, and I hope that she finds this fic as pleasant a read as any.
> 
> Also, as I craft the world for this au, I will likely be doing some art and visual development on the side, for both the sake of helping me envision my writing, expanding on my creativity in that field, and simply providing the reader with a more detailed look into the story. I will try to link to corresponding art either at the end of notes, or occasionally provide text links within the story, though of course in a way that isn't obtrusive to the reader.
> 
> Thank you for checking in on the story.
> 
> Edit: I've added the shipping tag, but I wanted to clarify this is not a ship fic. However, I did see a few people post about wanting to see more on a hypothetical friendship between the two so I added the tags for the sake of people being able to find this work.
> 
> Music mood of the chapter: "Loro" by Pinback. http://obsidianchameleon.tumblr.com/post/94225239775/miss-imperial-a-spliff-and-a-book-and-a-shady

Every teenager is faced with a very weighty question at some point in their lives, and that is the question of their future plans. Some have it figured out, knowing that they should head into the arts or law enforcement or humanitarian services, but many remain without an answer for years. Like such teens, nineteen year-old Dipper Pines had no idea as to what he wished to do with his life. Weeks into his first semester at college only showed him how little he truly understood the world around him, since he had grown up in only two places - a very quiet, sheltered suburb in California, and an incredibly eccentric, whimsical place in the heart of Oregon. Along with being stark contrasts of each other, both places were but a meager look into the reality of the world, and neither were good portrayals of the diversity of life; one was a shallow lie of naïveté, and the other was a like a dream, a page from a fantasy novel. Thus, Dipper decided that the best option for him was to experience the world first-hand. 

Knowing his parents wouldn't just allow him to drop out, he worked diligently for the rest of the year, maintaining high grades along with working a small job simply to scrape up money for expenses for his journey. Once he had both grades, funds, and research of his plans to speak of, he presented his idea of a gap year to his parents, who hesitantly consented, under the premise that they trusted his judgment and that he would be easily able to pick up school where he left off.

As he worked and went to school, Dipper diligently plotted out his route. He would begin on the outskirts of Gravity Falls, which made sense as an origin point; many of his most eye-opening summers were spent there, so it was the obvious place to begin. However, he would only be passing through there, as he had spent enough time throughout his life exploring the area, and that was a previous chapter of his life. After a quick stop at his Great Uncle's, he would trek through the redwoods of Oregon, which would turn into the barren, sprawling granite cliffs of Northern California, then head west upon reaching the Lake Tahoe, following the highway towards the sea and the city of San Francisco. From there, his path lay along the untamable, pounding coastline Pacific Ocean until he reached the southern part of California. That was his current goal, though heading further south would be fascinating as well. If anything, making it to the tip of California would be a feat in itself; he would consider the other possibilities later, though he had to admit to himself that making it to the Antarctic would be something he would love to do.

The route Dipper planned was one that would carry him through mainly the wilderness. Throughout his years, he found he didn't require constant company, and after the bustle of college life, the prospect of long periods of solitude and silence were ones he looked forward to. Besides, it seemed to him that his answers lay outside of the reaches of society. He made sure that he would occasionally pass tiny towns, if only to stock up on food and supplies, though he could always change his course if he so desired.

With the money he earned, he bought himself a few things he would need most, including a thick raincoat, waterproof boots, and a light sleeping bag. He kept some of his money in cash, and the rest stocked in a secure bank account, so as not to overburden his bag with anything but the necessities. As summer was winding down and the warm September autumn was just beginning to set in, he took a bus to Gravity Falls, ready to set off on his journey.

Unlike Dipper's parents, Grunkle Stan was more than supportive of his nephew. He commended him on his dedication, stating that college was a ploy to get cash out of broke kids and that Dipper's decision was nothing short of a manly one. He bid him luck, gave him a couple addresses of places he considered worth stopping by, including two in Columbia in case he made it that far south, and even handed him a fifty dollar bill, which was more generosity than the man had shown over the last seven years of their acquaintance. On this note, Dipper set off, compass in hand and positive thoughts in mind, ready to face whatever fate would throw at him.

\--

Beams of light danced along the floor of the busy forest, alive with birdsong and the far-off sound of a rushing creek. Dipper breathed in the forest air, such a pleasant change from the stifling suburbs he used to reside in. It was the smell of his childhood, having spent years romping through these humid woods as he searched for every mystery it hid. Even now, traces of the shy, local magic were clearly evident, from the enormous footprints of the Manotaurs, to the eerie screeching of a distant cockatrice. This, of course, was all behind him; the land he was heading for was one that held far more normalcy, where rocks weren't disguised creatures and the birds couldn't turn you to stone. On one hand, it seemed saddening to leave the mysterious, fascinating woods of his youth behind, but at the same time it was a welcome change. If he was to have new experiences, he would have to seek them in new locations.

 After about an hour of walking, he could almost feel the hum of magic subsiding as he distanced himself from Gravity Falls. He paused for a moment to take a swig of water, relishing the fact that after months of planning and working and living in a place he really didn't want to be, he was finally on this trip, alone and at peace.

Unbeknown to him, Dipper was far from alone. A watchful eye had been following him, invisible to the teen. He had been tracking him ever since he set off, curious about the teen’s plans. Bored with merely watching from a distance, the observer decided to show himself to the traveler.

As Dipper was screwing the cap back on, a flash of gold burst in front of him, causing him to nearly drop the bottle. Once the light subsided, the boy blinked to find a small triangle hovering in the air above him, and nearly tripped over his own feet as he backed away from the apparition. The figure laughed at his clumsiness, and hovered closer, extending a hand in greeting.

"Ah, Dipper Pines! It's good to see you again," the triangle exclaimed, his eye squinting cheerfully.

Dipper stared, wide-eyed and unsure how to react, too dazed to even consider the proposed handshake. "B-Bill?! What do you want?"

Bill laughed again at the boy's uncertainty. "You always think I'm after something, don't you? Well, you're probably right! But that's not why I'm here today." Dipper flashed him a skeptical look. Ignoring the teen, Bill continued, "I've heard about your little plan. I'd like to accompany you."

"No. No way."

"I wasn't making an offer, I was making a statement. Demons like to travel the world in search of a greater meaning too, you know," he huffed, acting offended.

"Look, I don't have time for this. You've messed with my life and mind enough. I don't want- no, need, any more of that," Dipper retorted, walking off.

"Hey, now, water under the bridge! Okay, perhaps not all the water," he corrected uneasily after Dipper glared daggers. "But I could be a major help, you'll see!"

"Yeah, like what? Setting me on fire as I sleep?"

Bill ignored his comment, narrowing his eye slyly. "You want to reach the tip of Southern America, correct?"

"Maybe," Dipper responded, still unnerved and unused to the idea of his innermost thoughts being read.

"That's an awful lot of border hopping you'd be doing. How in the world are you going to get the documentation for that?"

"Well, I was considering-" Dipper started, but the demon quickly cut him off.

"You're in luck, kid! I've got better mechanisms and methods than paper and legal work. That's only one of the perks you'd get with traveling with me!"

"I'd rather not travel at all than walk with you even one block," Dipper grumbled.

Bill only laughed, considering that one good point was enough convincing for the day and floated off to drift alongside the boy. "Say, where's Shooting Star? You two are always together."

Dipper sighed quietly. If there was one thing he was going to feel homesick about, it was his twin sister. "Mabel couldn't afford to lose so much time in college. Unlike me, she's actually got her life path laid out pretty solidly," he chuckled. "Besides, this is an opportunity for us to grow in our own ways. I mean, she'll always be my twin, but we can't always be side-by-side."

"Well, I guess it's just you and me then! This is going to be fun, Pine Tree! Trust me!"

Dipper nearly halted, cringing at the nickname as unpleasant memories resurfaced. Trust? There was no trust to be had in _anything_ that came from Gravity Falls, let alone the most untrustworthy being in the area. Yet as far as he could tell, there was nothing he could do about his newfound company, and the piece about crossing borders was an enticing one. Still, he'd have to keep his guard up; if his childhood taught him anything about the real world, it's that trust is nowhere to be found.

\--

Surprisingly enough, Bill wasn't as terrible a traveler as Dipper thought he would be. The demon decided that his standard size was too big, so he shrunk himself to about nine or ten inches. Getting bored of just floating alongside Dipper, Bill promptly settled down on top of the teen's backpack, quietly observing the trees around him; though Dipper thought that the demon would talk incessantly, the opposite turned out to be true. At least he kept his words to himself, since Bill hadn't been all that pleasant in the past, both in speech and action. He recalled with bitter distaste a few particular events of that one fateful summer when so many things went wrong. Nothing was ever the same after _that_. How was he even putting up with this? Surely he had the few proper Latin verses jotted down somewhere so that he could banish the rude, vile, -

"Ow!" Dipper yelled, clutching at his head from a solid blow, his train of thought interrupted. He twisted his neck around, only to spot a cane in the hands of a disgruntled Bill. "What was that for?"

"I don't appreciate your thoughts," Bill sneered.

"What?!"

"Your thoughts," he repeated. "They weren't very polite, if you ask me. That's no way to view your fellow traveler."

Dipper stopped in his tracks. "Let me get this straight. I haven't even been walking with you for five minutes, and you're _already_ inside my head?"

Bill shrugged. "What can I say? It's kind of a habit. You know, me being a mind demon and all that."

Dipper shook his head, exasperated, and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Look, if you're gonna follow me around like this, we've got to lay down some ground rules. First of all-"

"YOU want to lay down ground rules? You think you have any authority over an all-knowing being like me?"

"You're just a floating Dorito! Why would- why _should_ I take authority from you?" Dipper snarled, grabbing at Bill. The demon easily floated out of his grasp, whacking him upside the head with his cane again.

"Not a wise move, Pine Tree." Dipper winced again at the nickname. Bill continued, twirling his cane, “You remember the last few times I was upset.”

The teen shuddered in recollection. Bill spoke the truth, it was never a good idea to cross him. Bill’s wrath had proven to be damaging enough; Dipper still occasionally awoke screaming, his sheets drenched with sweat. He figured if he was to get through this, he’d have to remain as resilient as he could.

"Look,” Bill snapped, breaking Dipper’s train of thought. “You should be happy I even decided to grace your presence in the first place. For one, how are you going to get food?"

"Well, I stocked up on some cans, along with..." Bill rolled his eye as Dipper immediately prattled off his supply list. Instead of paying attention, Bill waved an arm, and a large sub sandwich appeared in Dipper's hand. The lad nearly dropped it out of pure shock, just managing to catch it last minute.

"What is that?!"

"Can't recognize a sandwich?"

"N-no, not that! How- why?"

"It's food, you idiot. Now you don't have to worry about your next meal."

"Is this even edible?"

Bill sighed dramatically. "Of course. It's a _sandwich_. You know? Put into mouth? Chew with teeth? That’s technically an instinct in mammals."

Dipper stared dubiously at the sub. "You sure it's not poisoned?"

Bill only laughed. "What use would you be if I poisoned you right at the start of your journey? No, I just teleported it from the shelf of some store a ways away. You know, that premade stuff they serve in the deli section of a supermarket?"

"Isn't that stealing?"

"Yeah. But who cares? You need food, right? You should be grateful; teleporting objects from that far away is no easy feat."

Dipper glared at him. "I spent all year earning money for things like this, only to get food in backhand ways? That doesn't seem right!"

"Why do you care so much? Supermarkets steal all the time; I'm just returning the favor."

Dipper glared at Bill dubiously, then at the sandwich. It did smell delicious, and a quick glance at his watch told him it was prime time for a lunch break. He bit into it, chewing carefully until he was certain there was nothing wrong with it before digging in.

“Well… Thanks for that, I guess,” Dipper murmured, finishing the last few bites. “But come on, man, no more stealing food. It doesn’t seem right.”

Bill shrugged. “Suit yourself. It’s just food; it’ll rot anyways if someone doesn’t eat it.”

Dipper groaned quietly, but continued walking, Bill trailing silently behind him.

\--

As the lights faded, Dipper settled down for his first day underneath a sprawling ash tree. He cleared a small section of the ground to make room for a fire pit, but while he was struggling with the matches, Bill drifted over, muttering in Latin. With a tiny pop, the twigs Dipper carried in for kindling lit aflame. The teen was about to retort, but decided against it, instead thanking Bill. He rolled out his sleeping bag, settling against a tree for the time being, and pulled out a small, leather-bound journal.

“What’s that for?” Bill inquired, perching on Dipper’s shoulder.

“I figured I’d log my travels, just so I’ll always have something to refer to,” he replied cheerily.

Bill harrumphed, watching silently for a few minutes. “Wow, your handwriting is terrible.”

Dipper turned to look at the demon. “Really? You’re criticizing that? Not even my word choice?”

“I’d criticize your word choice if I could read what you wrote down.”

“Oh, come on, it’s not that bad!”

“Yeah it is.”

The two bickered for a while until Dipper decided he had enough and that sleep was more important. Tucking his journal into his bag and throwing an empty threat at Bill to stay out of his dreams, he finally passed out into a heavy, tired sleep Bill floated to the canopy of the forest, watching over the landscape, entertaining himself with the dreams of those sleeping in the woods.

\--

Three days had passed since the teen set out, and he was now well away from his starting point. The pair had settled into a fairly simple routine, and the journey had been calm so far, both parties preferring to stay within their own thoughts. Dipper wondered what Bill's point in coming was but hesitated on asking as he suspected a dishonest answer anyways. He didn’t even bother inquiring as to whether Bill really was in the corporeal world or if the demon was just projecting onto his mind. Either way, his walk so far had proven to be soothing; even though he was tired by the end of each day, it already felt more rewarding than trudging on a daily basis to pointless classes. These long periods of introspection, exercise, and fresh air have already proven good for him.

He had paused to pick a few blackberries from the bushes at the edge of a ravine when a loud, heavy crunch interrupted Dipper's thoughts. A dark shadow passed through the trees ahead, halting Dipper in his tracks.

"Bill!" He hissed. "Did you see that? What was it? It looked way too big to be a cougar, and too fast to be a bear."

The triangle hovered up and off of his bag, bemused. "I definitely heard it. You gonna go investigate it?"

Dipper shuffled his feet. "We're far enough from Gravity Falls at this point that it's unlikely to be anything supernatural. It's probably just a bear."

"You said yourself it was too fast to be one," Bill replied, mildly skeptical.

"Well, I'm just gonna have to take that as an answer. It was too far away to really see anything."

Dipper tread quietly ahead, but the shape had long since run off in a different direction. Still, he became a little more alert, as wild animals could still pose a danger, though the rest of the day's journey remained uneventful.

\--

By the end of the day, the two stopped by a creek in a grove of white alders, as per request of Bill, who said it would be easier for him to keep watch amongst some of his favorite trees. Granted, they were in the middle of an isolated wood, but it was always better to be cautious at night, be it unsavory wanders or large animals. Admittedly, Dipper couldn't say he minded having an ever-watchful guard, despite feeling confident that nothing too frightening would threaten him.

Having convinced Bill that he didn't always need food teleported to him, Dipper was frying a small trout rubbed in some blackberries he had picked earlier, toasting it on a skewer over a fire. He glanced up at the demon, only to find him hovering very still in one place, peering into the darkness.

"Is something wrong?"

"I think something's lurking out there. I can't really see that far, and it's not sentient. It's big, though."

"Do you think it might be that bear or cougar or whatever we saw earlier?"

As if to answer in the negative, a bright light flashed briefly before dissolving into the darkness. A few seconds later, it flashed again, this time closer.

“What the hell is that?”

Bill didn’t answer his question.

As it approached, Dipper could see a shadow far bigger than any animal he knew. It trod heavily between the trees, crunching through the layer of dying leaves. It stopped by the creek, now just a thin, nonexistent line separating Dipper from the thing. Even though it was hard to see, he saw it rise onto its hind legs, towering at least seventeen feet high. He wondered if it was still possible to run, or if climbing a tree would be his best plan.

[The creature then lit itself up in a dazzling display, revealing luminescent spines all across its bear-like body as it let out a deafening roar from its glowing mouth. ](http://obsidianchameleon.tumblr.com/post/94220246860/possible-concept-thing-for-a-thing-im-picking-at)The poor teen couldn’t move, now frozen in place at the sight in front of him as the creature easily leaped the creek and stalked towards him, snuffing loudly. Even on four legs, its massive, sloping back reached at least nine or ten feet at its broad shoulders, and the thing was built like a tank. Spines lined its back and forelegs, and the fur on the tips of its tail seemed to shine just as brightly as its horns. It strode right up to him, lowering its head to glare at Dipper with golden, blazing eyes, its growling incessant. Dipper was absolutely petrified. This was it, this was how it ended – in the paws of a giant, supernatural beast. Oh what a fool he was, to think he had left all that magical nonsense behind, only for it to be the cause of his passing.

Yet without lifting a claw, the creature turned away from Dipper, then sniffed the trout still in his hand, licked it and scrunched its nose, rumbling like a displeased tiger. Ignoring the poor boy, the monster stalked up to his bag, then dug its nose in until it found a small container of berries that Dipper had collected earlier for later consumption. Within one swiping lick, it swallowed the contents. Seemingly satisfied, it leaped away, disappearing once more into the darkness.

Dipper wouldn’t budge for an entire minute, still shocked in place. Finally, he managed a few words.

“W-what in the living hell was that?! What is a magical –  that’s gotta be something supernatural – creature doing so far away from Gravity Falls?!”

“You tell me, Pine Tree. What _is_ something like that doing so far away from our favorite little town, eating all of your berries?”

Dipper just shook his head, distraught. “I’m just shocked it didn’t eat me. Did you see the size of its claws?”

Bill chuckled. “Sure did. The thing could slice you open with a flick of the wrist.” Dipper shuddered at the thought.

With loud stomps, the monster approached them again, and Dipper attempted weakly to brace himself for the intruder. The beast lumbered into sight, the spines on its back flashing and its glowing tail wagging in what Dipper could only place as excitement. In its jaws it held an entire bush of thorns, torn from the ground, roots and all. It dropped the plant in front of the teen, looking what Dipper could only place as expectant. Carefully, he crawled over to the loot the monster dragged in.

“Hey, these are blackberries!” The creature rumbled happily as it noticed Dipper perked up slightly. It nosed at the berries, then leaped around the boy to pick up the small container that had previously held the fruit. Making sure to continue placating the beast, Dipper started picking the berries, dropping them into the box that his new 'friend' diligently held out for him. He was surprised to discover that this bush carried a lot more berries than a typical bramble; the monster evidently knew its stuff.

Since the creature refused the newly-picked berries, shaking its head and pushing the container towards Dipper, the teen stowed them away and carefully cleared the thorns away from the camp area. However, it didn’t leave, instead choosing to sit there and stare at the teen until without warning it paced up to the teen, butting him gently like an overgrown cat. Hesitantly, Dipper reached up to pet it, scratching behind the ears. It purred gratefully, tilting its neck to guide Dipper where it wanted to be pet. Dipper cracked a smile; perhaps the thing was friendly after all.

 “What even are you?" Dipper mumbled. "Hey, Bill? Do you know what this is?”

“No. I’ve never seen one before, actually," Bill replied, floating curiously around it.

“It’s sort of like a bear, with the reflexes of a tiger. Or a wolverine,” Dipper mused. “Maybe a wolfbear? That eats blackberries? ‘Blackberry Wolfbear.’ That sounds all right.” As if in response, the monster grumbled, pleased. “You’re just a big softie, aren’t ya? You’re not gonna eat me after all,” Dipper whispered softly.

At his words, the Wolfbear’s eyes flashed blue. With a ear-splitting screech, it reared up, pinning Dipper by the neck between two enormous claws, roaring right in his face. Dipper’s heart jumped out of his chest – this was it, this is how it ended. He should have known not to touch the monster, just pacify it and leave it alone. If anything, he should have ran on sight. It all seemed to be going fine, and he knows that he's dealt with so much worse, yet this was a situation with no way out. Bill's chilling words came to mind, that if it flicked its claws, he'd be torn right open. Fear flooded his system, such that he couldn't even shut his eyes from shock and sheer terror.

Yet just as quickly as it snapped, the creature blinked, its features softening as it lifted its paw, backing away slowly with a confused look crossing its features. Only after about thirty seconds of being rooted to the spot, Dipper finally registered the laughter that had been going on for a while now. Glancing up, he saw Bill, his form facing upwards as he laughed incessantly. The demon finally noticed that Dipper looked up.

“Hahah, oh, Pine Tree, you should have seen the look on your face! I’m surprised you didn’t pee yourself on the spot!” The demon managed, erupting once more into giggles. Confused, Dipper blinked a few time before a conclusion dawned on him.

“Did you just… Possess the Wolfbear? Just so you could get a laugh?!”

“You sure are a smart boy, aren’t ya?” Bill chortled, clutching his stomach.

Horrified, Dipper bellowed, “What is wrong with you?! You could have killed me!”

Bill floated down to eye level, bemused, “Oh, come on, lighten up. It was just a prank.” Dipper fumed at his words, but before he could respond, the triangle cut in, “Besides, I had full control over him. Nothing to worry about.”

Dipper could have said a few choice words, but decided against it. Exasperated, he rubbed the bridge of his nose, the adrenaline slowly subsiding as it was replaced with uncertainty and mild embarrassment. He should have expected just as much out of Bill. “Just- just don’t do it again. That’s not how you treat a fellow traveler,” he added, “since you were the one so keen on etiquette earlier.”

Bill sighed sarcastically. “Whatever you say, Miss Proper Etiquette.”

Ignoring the insult, Dipper pulled out his sleeping bag. His appetite was lost, the trout he caught was trampled on the ground anyways, and the ordeal had drained whatever energy he had left. He glanced at the Wolfbear again, which was cleaning itself a few yards away. A creature like that would fit seamlessly in Gravity Falls, he thought, even though they were miles away from the last anomaly; in fact, he hadn't seen a trace of magic since the first day. Perhaps a few creatures managed to roam away from the town. Still unsatisfied with that explanation but too tired to delve further into the subjects he slid into the sleeping bag.

As the teen tried to shift into a comfortable pose, he felt something large curl around him. Apparently, the Wolfbear decided to settle down alongside Dipper for the night. Suddenly, it jerked him up, sleeping bag and all, wrapping its paws around him like a child would a stuffed animal – tightly, but not enough to suffocate him. However, Dipper felt oddly at ease, so long as he tried to comfort himself with the thought that Bill hopefully wouldn't play any more of his tricks that night. With that thought, his sheer exhaustion, and the comfortable warmth and now two watchful guards, the tired teen quickly dozed off.

\--

Excited birdsong rang through the forest as the sun's beams broke over the jagged mountain tops. Dipper stirred from the noise, propping himself up on his elbows as he came to his senses. Memories of the previous night's encounter quickly flooded back, and he quickly realized two things; first, the Wolfbear was long since gone, and second, he was undoubtedly starving. As he reached for his bag to grab a can of beans, he noticed something flash right beside it. Looking over, he found a thin spike lying on the ground, the only physical reminder from last night's incident. He picked it up, and as his fingers brushed against the base, it lit up like a torch.

"Huh, did it lose a horn? I hope it isn't hurt or anything."

"Oh please, the only hurt creatures you should be worried about is yourself, little fleshbag," Bill sneered, floating down from his perch in the trees. "Besides, cats drop their whiskers, sharks lose their teeth. I think that thing will be fine."

“Still, it's a little strange. How do you suppose there’s a supernatural creature so far away from Gravity Falls?" Dipper mused as he fiddled with the spine before stowing it in his bag. "I’ve never encountered anything magical farther than about a mile outside the town. You would think the stuff would be tied down to the place. I'd understand reclusive, wandering creatures like bats, but even this is a little far. We're easily eighty, maybe even ninety miles away. How do you suppose such a creature got here?.." Dipper trailed off, perplexed.

Bill, expression completely unreadable, thought for a long moment.

"Perhaps the world just isn’t what you thought it would be, Pine Tree."


	2. Adam's Ale, in which Hygiene Sinners Repent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, and thanks for reading! Sorry that this chapter took quite a while; though I've had the bulk written out for quite a while, I needed to take some time off to focus on school and work on smaller projects before I got back to do some final edits on this. Thank you for your patience! 
> 
> Again, I must thank eveningrun for taking time out of her incredibly busy schedule to beta this fic for me, I am grateful beyond words for this.
> 
> I'd like to clarify once more that this is not a shipping fic, but it is one that focuses on the platonic relationship/friendship/whatever Bill and Dipper have.
> 
> LINKS  
> Music Mood: Amphibian Circuits - Dirtwire https://soundcloud.com/dirtwire/01-amphibian-circuits  
> ((RainyMood is also a great thing to have playing for this chapter))
> 
> Chapter Art: http://obsidianchameleon.tumblr.com/post/94409588160/music-amphibian-circuits-by-dirtwire-with-rainy  
> http://obsidianchameleon.tumblr.com/post/95435734900/one-hour-speedpaint-just-some-potential  
> http://obsidianchameleon.tumblr.com/post/99212556035/sketch-i-did-a-while-back-of-a-scene-from-ch-2-of

The forest grew silent as enormous thunderheads rolled above the trees. Birds quieted, insects hid underneath the leaves, the frogs ceased their croaking. Even the archaic sequoias stood silent, not even the slightest wind breathing through their soft needles. Only Dipper crunched through the underbrush, followed closely by a small, floating triangle gliding noiselessly behind him. The teen rubbed his temples, trying without avail to shake the building headache caused by the change in weather.  
  
While the woods had been fairly sparse throughout most of Dipper's trek, the bushes and grasses grew ever taller and thicker in this particular stretch of the forest, and it was rapidly becoming impassible. He came upon a small creek, hardly a yard wide, beyond which spiky brambles ran as far as he could see in that direction.  
  
"Damn. Turning back to try and find a way around this thicket is going to be such a hassle," Dipper mused aloud.  
  
"Are you sure that's your only option?"  
  
"What do you expect me to do, run through the thorns?"  
  
"That's not a bad alternative."  
  
"Easy for you to say. No, but really," Dipper grumbled, rubbing his temples in a failed attempt to soothe the throbbing in his head. "It might rain soon, and I'm pretty much stuck here."  
  
He glanced down the stretch of the creek. It was shallow, hardly a few inches deep at this spot, and it seemed like an open road, the only obstacles being the occasional low, overhanging branch.  
  
"Sure, Pine Tree, you could probably head down there."  
  
"Bill," Dipper groaned, exasperated. "Why do you keep reading my thoughts? It makes conversations far more awkward."  
  
"Not really. It's not like there's anyone watching you be weird. Except me, of course!" The demon added cheerily as he bobbed in the air. Dipper sighed.  
  
"Well, I guess I _could_ try waking down through there. It heads more or less south, judging by my compass. Maybe the forest will open up later."  
  
Making up his mind, he quickly tugged his shoes and socks off, tied them to his bag, and rolled his jeans up before stepping into the chilly water. The creek trickled slowly, but the cool, rushing water was still something that took a few minutes to get used to. The creek bed was mostly made up of smooth pebbles with occasional patch of sand; Dipper preferred the latter as he nearly tripped on the moss-covered stones a few times.  
  
"Why is the water so cold," Dipper complained. "You've got magic powers, right? Can't you do some sort of waterproofing spell, or, I don't know, a warm feet charm? You can get creative. Not too creative," he added hastily.  
  
Bill laughed sardonically. "Hah, easy for you to say."

"What, can't do a simple warming spell?"

"Kid, you have no ideas how my powers work," Bill huffed, crossing his arms.  
  
"Oh, of course, Mr. Mysterious-Well-Written-Flawed-Superhero," Dipper replied sourly, "What, do you have limits or an unfortunate Achilles' heel or something?"  
  
"That's none of your business, Pine Tree."  
  
"Yeah, I probably don't," Dipper sighed, defeated, but to his surprise Bill spoke up again.

"There's more to magic than just plain spells and chants. There's all sorts of subdivisions."

"Really?" Dipper stopped walking, watching the triangle curiously as this new knowledge dawned on him. "I had no idea. That would probably explain a lot of gaps in my research. There really are subdivisions? Why didn't I know this sooner?"

"Humans rarely ever come into contact with magic as it is, and the ones that do hardly have any strength to handle it. For beginners, I am affiliated the Ignis sector. I can only truly control that specific subdivision of magic. Not to say I can't dabble with the others, but that's another story."

"Ignis?" Dipper echoed thoughtfully. "As in, igniting my house and personal belongings?"                     

Bill snorted, largely ignoring his remark. "Ignis denotes what you would call "fire" magic, though it's much more complex than just setting things aflame."

"But I thought you were a mind demon?"

"That is true, it's a part of the illusory magic category. I believe the best metaphor would be 'smoke' and mirrors, if you catch my drift. The way specific types are grouped would be lost on many humans."

"I think I'm starting to understand it," Dipper defended. "So if there's fire, there must be water, right?"

"Yes, it's referred to as Aquam. Don't really like that stuff," Bill added.

"How come? Does it harm you?"

"No," Bill replied, his town betraying the slightest hint of unease. "It mostly means that my abilities are not as effective against Aquam – what you would call water – and that it takes more work for me to learn how to control that sector of magic, so I tend to avoid it. Besides, it's annoying! Pointless stuff like healing and life-propagating nectars and rains, what use is there in that to an immortal being like me?" Bill raged quietly, more to himself than Dipper.

"So if you are weak against water-"

"Aquam," Bill corrected instantly, a note of anger permeating his voice. "And I'm not weak against it!"

"Aquam, sorry, then what are the other kinds of magic? You'd have strengths against some, right?"

Bill lightened slightly, glad to change subjects. "Of course! Caelum and Tellus are the names for the air and earth sectors, and the former is weak to Ignis."

"Huh. I never knew official classifications existed. I just figured magic was simply a... Thing." Dipper mused, scratching his chin.  
  
The demon circled around him once, observing him from all sides before stopping right in front of him. "Believe me, Pine Tree, there's a lot you don't know yet," he stated ominously.

The teen rolled his eyes. "I know, you've said that phrase probably fifty times since I've set out."  
  
Despite his comment, Bill did not feel up to expanding on the subject, preferring to settle on Dipper's bag once more in his customary silence.

Disregarding the cold of the creek, Dipper was glad he took this route. Miraculously, it headed mostly south, with only a few twists and turns along the way, but at least there _was_ an alternative; the surrounding brambles stretched on for miles, rendering the entire sector of the forest impossible to pass through, to the point that their twisting, spiny tendrils occasionally managed to creep into the brook. Golden-leafed branches drooped low, and the boy would occasionally have to force his way past them. Though the place he started at was shallow, the waterway soon expanded, the current growing stronger and colder.

The air cooled off as the first raindrops began to fall from the gray ceiling of clouds. Despite it not lasting too long, Dipper still complained under his breath since even the slightest bit of rain wasn't too pleasant, but Bill was deaf to any of his remarks, seeing how the weather couldn't physically do anything to him, not even dampen his hat. He remained sitting, curiously observing the forest; whatever went on in his mind was absolutely unknown to Dipper.

Still, if he ignored the chilling waters and the endless wall of thorns, the forest was currently in a beautiful state. The trees were dressed in manes of red and gold, their colors blending into a mosaic ceiling above. Small animals darted about, searching out their afternoon meals, and Dipper even spotted a little hawk preening on a low branch. The only peculiar thing about the area was the fact that proportionally, many of the trees near the creek had enormous gashes in them, large patches of their bark missing.

"Hey," Dipper spoke up after a while. "What's with the trees?" He motioned at a few trunks by the shore, a few of which looked as if the bark had been shredded from them. He walked up closer, his fingers brushing against the wood. "I know some trees have peeling bark, but these look like claw marks. Big claw marks, too. If it was just one or two trees, I'd ignore it, but it seems as though every other tree is damaged."

"Perhaps something's using the trees as a scratching post?" Bill suggested.

"Maybe," Dipper replied, mentally shrugging it off as bears or beavers; he didn't know enough about the habits of either creature to classify the damage.

Along their walk they saw more and more trees with similar cuts, all around a week old according to Dipper's guess. While a few conifers were damaged, it seemed as though the assailant preferred trees with flaky bark such as birches and madrones. The only other oddity Dipper noticed were the occasional clumps of foam that seemed to be present around the marks, but other than that the forest seemed fairly normal.

Soon, the creek began to widen and the forest grew sparser until Dipper's diligence finally paid off in the form of a small, alpine lake that opened up to a sparser forest on the other side.  
  
The area was simply gorgeous. Dipper stood on a thin strip of pebbly beach surrounded by a mix of tall, thick grasses and blackberry bushes. The silent forest and purple mountains reflected in the glass-like surface, the windless evening not stirring the water. Thankfully, the rolling clouds had passed overhead with hardly a light drizzle, and by evening the sky had cleared, already allowing the first stars to peek out.  
  
The teen decided to park there for the night, seeing how the lake was relatively protected and light was quickly fading anyways. He pulled out his supplies for the evening, and asked Bill to spark up the campfire.  
  
"No," the triangle replied, perched atop the wood pile with his hands on his hips. Dipper stopped unpacking, glancing over at the demon in confusion.  
  
"Why not? Did I do something wrong?"  
  
"It's about what you didn't do."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You can't even guess?" Bill screeched, exasperated.  
  
Dipper shrugged. "Not when you're being that vague."

The demon decided it was best to get to the point for once. "You haven't bathed since you've set out! That's disgusting!" He fumed.  
  
"So? You don't even have a nose, and we're far away from people. Who even cares? Besides, since when do _you_ care about hygiene?" Dipper questioned.  
  
"Currently, my sense of smell is very real, thank you very much, and that sense is telling me you really stink and need a bath! Look, there's even a perfectly good lake, right there! Special for you, kid!"  
  
"But it's cold! I've already spent all day walking through a freezing creek. Maybe tomorrow," Dipper retorted, reaching for his backpack to try and see if he could dig out the matches he had.  
  
"Then I won't start your fire, and I'll put out any you try to start yourself."  
  
Dipper dropped his pack. "Maybe I won't need one tonight."  
  
"I'll also leave a dead animal in your sleeping bag each day for the next week if you don't go now."  
  
Seeing that he couldn't win this one, Dipper groaned, "Fine, I'll rinse off. That fire better be going when I get out." Grumbling under his breath, he set his belongings under a tree, pulled off his clothes and tossed them into a pile.  
  
Stripped down to his underwear, Dipper waded into the lake. The shallow water was still slightly warm from the day's sun, but the water became drastically cooler with each step deeper. In the last few rays of dusk, he could make out tiny minnows darting about his ankles, catching bits of food within the debris he kicked up. He strode slowly, allowing himself to get used to the chilling temperature, the still water swirling around him as he sent ripples flowing gently across the glass-like surface. Once he got waist-deep, Dipper figured that it would only get colder along the bottom and that his best option was to stay near the surface. Hesitantly, he pushed off, taking a few rapid strokes to try and warm his body from the icy waters. He forced himself to relax as he glided, and slowly his body acclimated to the temperature. It was frigid, but in the refreshing way that cleared his head and sent a fire through his veins as his body tried to conserve its heat.  
  
Bill had been floating alongside him as swam. "Aren't you gonna dunk your head underwater? You really should wash your hair. That's the grossest part."  
  
"Geez, I never knew how much of a clean freak you were!"  
  
"If a _demon_ says you should consider thinking about personal hygiene, you should probably take that advice," Bill remarked pointedly.  
  
"Oh, whatever. Besides, it's cold out. My hair is thick, it'll take forever to dry, and I might get sick. It's not that warm out."  
  
"Beauty takes sacrifice, darling."

"Yeah, whatever. Sometimes we get warm days in September; I'll wash my hair then if Your Majesty oh so desires it."

"We might not come across any more water for miles! You really should do it now."

"Dude, it rains constantly around here. There's water _everywhere_."

"In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, rebuke thee, hygiene sinner!" Bill yelled, shoving an unsuspecting Dipper underwater. He resurfaced, shaking the water from his hair like a dog.

"What was that for?!" Dipper whined, giving the demon an insulted look.

"You obviously weren't going to do it yourself," Bill stated, crossing his arms.

"You little triangular asshole!" Dipper chortled, splashing Bill with water.  
  
"Hey! Hey! Stop that," the demon laughed, floating out of reach.  
  
"What, afraid you'll melt?"  
  
"No, idiot, I'm not the Wicked Witch of the West! I already said, I'm not _allergic_ to water, I just can't control it."  
  
"I thought you said you were weak to it?"  
  
"Splashing water on me doesn't equate to Aquam magic, numbskull!"  
  
"Then why do you care? You seemed fine in the rain!" Dipper laughed, splashing Bill again.

"I was trying to help you do something positive for yourself, and this is how you repay me? Rude, Pine Tree, Rude! Didn't you ever learn manners?"

"Hah, manners. You're a talking Dorito, what understanding of manners could you possibly have?"

"I happen to be a cultured individual regardless of the form I take, thank you very much," Bill declared, straightening his bowtie.

"Whatever," Dipper smirked, splashing the demon again.  
  
Eventually, after another round of trying to get Bill wet and an attempt to actually wash his hair, Dipper waded out of the lake, feeling far more refreshed, his headache nearly gone. After drying off with a small towel and crawling into his sleeping bag, the exhausted teen quickly fell asleep.

 –-  
  
Dipper woke up in the middle of the night, shivering and sweating profusely. His head throbbed as though it was about to split in two, and his feet felt as though he had been standing in a bucket of ice water. Groggily, he rose, fumbling with his bag as he reached for the ibuprofen he had stowed away in the bag. Bill floated down, asking what was wrong. Dipper blinked at the light emanating from the demon. Even though it was faint, it seemed to increase the pain in his temples.

"Bill, can you turn that down?"

"Turn what down?"

"You know... You," Dipper waved at him.

"You mean dim myself?" Bill asked, for once allowing mild concern to creep into his voice in spite of his general lack of understanding and care for human afflictions.

"Yeah, you're giving me a headache."

Bill touched his forehead. "You're really burning up."

"Yeah, no shit," Dipper mumbled, swallowing a few pills. "I think I got a chill from the cold water. I knew I shouldn't have washed my hair. This is all your fault. Why do you always have to make my life a living Hell," he groaned, flopping back on the ground. He dozed off nearly instantly, so weary was he. Bill remained hovering above him, gazing upon the crumpled heap lying there.

"You think _this_ is Hell?" He murmured, turning away to float to the canopy. "You haven't seen the first ring of it. Poor, miserable wretch."

–-

"Rise and shine, kid."

"Oh God, no thanks." Dipper blinked up at the triangle floating above him as per usual. The sun beat down harshly upon his spot on the beach. Though his fever went down slightly, his nose was stuffed, his whole body ached, and the heat began to get to him. He moved to the shade, leaning against a tree.

"I don't know if I can travel today."

"Of course you can! Left foot, right foot, you can do it! What's the point in sitting around?" Bill screeched, mildly upset at Dipper's evident lack of resolve.

"Easy for you to say, you don't know what it's like to be sick."

"Well, you aren't making any progress just standing."

"You think completely sabotaging my health for the sake of a few miles is progress?!"

"It's better than nothing! Here," Bill flicked his wrist, and a box of tissues appeared. "You might benefit from these."

"Thanks," Dipper replied sourly. "That cures everything. I don't even have a runny nose," he muttered under his breath, hoping futilely that the demon didn't hear him.

"Good," Bill said, pointedly ignoring his sarcasm. "Now let's go!"

"You sure are impatient," the teen remarked.

Had the teen been more coherent, he'd have noted the slight nervousness that permeated Bill's tone, but currently that went completely over his head. Though he would never admit to it, Bill began to feel a creeping vibe that unsettled him, and he was eager to get past this area as quick as possible.

Summoning whatever strength he had, Dipper slung his bag over his shoulder and continued south. The weather seemed have enjoyed the conditions from the previous day so much that it decided to repeat them; whereas it started off as pleasant and sunny, the sky soon filled with enormous clouds just threatening to pour, only this time the rain did come, much heavier this time around. Dipper was drenched in a manner of minutes, while Bill merely summoned a cup of tea and absolutely refused to share, stating that Dipper had already received his daily "care package" in the form of tissues. _Spiteful little beast_ , Dipper thought, but shrugged it off. It was more than likely an illusion simply for the sake of getting on the teen's nerves. Hell, he didn't even have a mouth!

As they walked, Bill began to appear more antsy, flittering about instead of gliding smoothly like he usually did. He even chattered nervously, much to the annoyance of Dipper, who was already feeling exhausted; the last thing he needed was to try and carry a conversation that jumped from topic to topic _on top_ of the rain and fever that was building again as the afternoon set in.

The forest opened up without warning, leading to an clearing with a small, dilapidating structure rising from between the trees, the decor indicating that it was an old church. A small cherry tree, its leaves already torn away by the season and elements and perhaps its ancient age, stooped in the center of the overgrown field. At this point, Bill was shuddering as though it was he who had caught the flu, unable to conceal it any longer.

"I think I'm going to stop here," Dipper declared, then broke into a hacking cough. "Yeah, I'm definitely not going any farther tod-"

"NO!" Bill screamed, visibly anxious.

"What's wrong?" Dipper teased. "Don't like holy places, _demon_?"

"No, no, it's not that! Your false religions mean nothing to me, no, there's just some really bad magic in the area!"

"What do you mean by 'bad?' I thought your magic was bad enough as it is," he added under his breath.

"There's some sort of Aquam magic in the area, and it really doesn't make me feel good. We're leaving."

"I've been walking in pouring rain for at least two hours, my fever's burning, and I'm pretty sure the warranty on my 'rainproof' jacket is beyond voided at this point. I'm in no condition to go on. We're staying," he declared. "'Aquam magic' means nothing to me."

"Well it should!" Bill cried out in disdain. "At least go a little deeper into the woods!"

"In this rain? No way. You don't have to stay, you know," Dipper remarked, then turned away from the demon and walked into the small church. Bill watched him go into the accursed chapel, then promptly sped off into the woods to find the nearest birch so he could have eyes in all directions if need be. He settled into the branches, shivering slightly from the rising sense of mild dread.

\--

The building wasn't in ideal condition, but it was better than nothing. Dipper noticed a few leaks from the cracks in the ceiling and walls, but the majority of the church and floor was dry. Either way, he was far too tired to care. Dumping his bag on the ground and groggily unrolling his sleeping bag, he plopped down onto a pew. The bench wasn't too comfortable, but at this point he didn't care; as long as it was dry and not as stone cold as the floor, he was willing to take it. His head and nose throbbed, and his eyes closed on their own.

For the first time since he set out, he wished he was at home, surrounded by his parents and sister, a mug of hot and hearty cocoa in his hands as they laughed the evening away. His heart twisted; how he longed to have his sister by his side. She would know what to say, or know just what to cook up to make him feel better, but no, he was stuck in this cold, rotting church, completely alone, his only company being one of the most annoying and malicious creatures in all nine circles of Hell, who was currently panicking for some unknown reason and refusing to cooperate. The pounding rain outside only added to the pounding in his head, and a bitter breeze whistled through the cracks. It was miraculous that most of the water stayed outside. He huddled into his sleeping bag, shivering as he drifted in and out of consciousness. His mind swam, a haze creeping over him as he felt his fever rise further.  
  
Then, at one point during the night, he began to feel better. His headache subsided, and he could feel his fever go down. A soft warmness soothed his shivering, and he even managed to sleep for longer than he thought he would. The storm outside slowed to a light drizzle, and it became more of a soothing lullaby than an obnoxious noise. Now, the building seemed more of a haven – safe, secure, and quiet. Dipper never found religion itself too intriguing or necessary in his life (especially after his first summer at Gravity Falls), but something about this place calmed him.  
  
Upon waking up he felt oddly refreshed, and he found that his fever had finally dropped and his weariness was all but gone, which was quite peculiar – he never recalled getting over any sickness so fast, especially colds of this severity. It was still dark outside, but he felt compelled to get up and wander the church. While he couldn't see much, he could tell that it had once been a very charming building. Faint light from the cloud-shrouded moon beamed through stained glass murals, and the front had especially elaborate decorations. He noted that some of the cracks in the walls and ceiling were stuffed with moss and some sort of barky material in a futile attempt to patch it up, though it was hardly doing its job, as multiple puddles dotted the floor.

Behind a small table up front was a collage painted on the wall, showcasing various biblical stories, and at the center hung an enormous, metal cross made of spiraling strands of iron. At the point of intersection was a brilliant azure stone encased in an elaborate, swirling cage of silver. The marble seemed to sparkle as if it could catch any ray of light, regardless of how dark it was.  
  
Dipper wandered towards the front, feeling drawn to the stone. There was something oddly reassuring about it, as if it gave off an air of comfort. Compulsively, he reached up to touch it gingerly, but the moment his finger brushed against it, the centerpiece fell from its perch. Dipper reached for the stone and tried to catch it, but the sphere fell to the ground with a deafening bang that resounded through the entire building. Hastily, Dipper picked it up. He looked over it, trying to figure out what type of mineral (or plastic) it was, but he simply couldn't categorize it. He shrugged it off, and tried to set it back into its proper spot, but oddly enough the ball didn't fit. There was no groove or lock for it, as though it was completely foreign to the rest of the cross.  
  
"Hmm," Dipper whispered. "I could have sworn you were firmly attached when I first saw you."  
  
After struggling to figure out the cross for another few minutes, he finally decided to pocket the stone. Usually, he wouldn't care for such things, but he felt compelled to hang onto it. If anything, it would be a reminder of this place, an eerie, run-down chapel that had proven to be one of the most comforting places he had ever struck upon. He was still baffled at how fast his cold cleared here. He was never one for superstition of this nature, but this was just too odd to overlook. Had it been his summer home, he wouldn't have questioned it one bit, but he was such a long distance away that he couldn't attribute it to mere coincidence.  
  
As the first rays of dawn seeped through the stained glass windows, Dipper rolled up his sleeping bag and went outside to greet Bill, excited to tell him about his recovery. The rain was still drizzling through the patchy clouds above, and the seeping sunbeams caught the light of a thousand raindrops on the trees, which lit up like Christmas decorations. Bill drifted down from the stooping, gnarled cherry tree upon which he had been waiting since daybreak as Dipper walked out.  
  
"Finally, Sleeping Beauty, took you long eno- oh my _GODS_ , what happened to you?" Bill screeched as Dipper approached, backing away rapidly.  
  
Perplexed, Dipper replied: "What's wrong with _you_? The only thing that happened to me was a miracle cure for my cold, so you don't have to worry about summoning tissues anymore. Which I didn't even need in the first place, if I may add."  
  
"No, not that! You're like a radioactive leak of something nasty!"  
  
"What?! There wasn't actually radiation in there was there? Is that why you didn't want to go in?"  
  
"No, stupid, you've gotten in touch with some form of _disgusting_ magic," Bill shuddered at the word. "You were better off when you didn't bathe for a week than you are now. I knew we shouldn't have stayed here. What was in there?" Bill grimaced, drifting further away from the teen.  
  
"What magic? I didn't even touch anyth- oh."  
  
Bill turned quickly. "What do you mean, 'oh?'" He inquired sharply.  
  
"I did a little exploring, and this thing was hanging on a cross. As soon as I touched it, it fell off as if it was never a part of it." Dipper dug around in his pockets as he spoke until he finally withdrew the blue orb. At this, Bill made a hissing noise and floated up and away a few feet.  
  
"So that's what's been causing the outburst of magic. No wonder; that's an Aquam relic. You should toss that, it's _filth_."  
  
"Why should I toss it? And why are you so repulsed by it?" Dipper asked, wiping his face to clear a few raindrops from it; another storm was beginning to set in.  
  
Bill drifted a few feet closer, though still maintaining a fair distance as he squinted down at Dipper. "It's not just a standard Aquam relic. That's one of the most White-aligned objects I've ever seen."

"White-aligned?"

Bill sighed, fidgeting with his hands. "One of the ways magic is categorized is through the division between Black and White. That's the 'official' name for it, but really it's all about chaos and order. Black magic is anything in relation to Ignis and Caelum, due to their chaotic nature, while Tellum and Aquam are classified as White, as the magic affiliated with them tends to have more order. Now get rid of that stupid thing."  
  
"So you don't like it because you're Black-aligned? Ah, good, I can use it against you," Dipper reasoned happily, ignoring Bill.  
  
"Hah, fat chance. It takes more than words or simple desire to work something like that. In your hands, it's nothing more than a shiny trinket."  
  
"Then if it can't do anything, why are you so concerned about it?"  
  
Bill scowled again. "Imagine a smoke detector going off in your head constantly. That's what it's like for me. You should put it back."

Dipper looked up at him, unamused. "Yeah, it's called a headache. Which I've had for the last few days. This whole week actually, ever since _you_ showed up. Besides," Dipper glanced down at the marble, rubbing it with his thumb. "I kind of like it. I think I want to keep it. Who knows, maybe it will come in handy?"  
  
"I can't let you do that! It's-"  
  
A branch creaked, and Dipper and Bill swung around. One of the trees shook as if something large had jumped off of it, and a thin wisp of smoke hung in the air amidst the twigs.

"Run!" Bill yelled. "Drop the stupid rock and run!"  
  
Dipper took his latter advice, albeit decided against tossing the stone. The pair sprinted through the forest, not really knowing what was after them, but concerned nonetheless.

It seemed to Dipper as though they were running from nothing. He tried to stop a few times, but Bill urged him on, hitting him with a cane he summoned just to keep him moving. Dipper grew increasingly concerned as the brush grew thicker, and he worried he'd run into another impassible field of thorns. Meanwhile, the rain grew stronger, and it seemed as though a light fog started to set in, adding even more obstacles to their path. 

The forest creaked around them, and the feeling of being pursued intensified. As he glanced over his shoulder, the teen noticed lingering trails of smoke similar to the one they saw by the church. Branches shook as though something was leaping across them. Panic rose in Dipper's chest; whatever was after them was quick and probably bigger than him – not a good combination.  
  
Soon enough, the downpour became so heavy that Dipper was forced to stop and huddle underneath the first tree that offered at least a bit of protection, which happened to be a large, overhanging spruce. He couldn't see more than a few feet in front of him, his vision only worsened by the thick blanket of mist. He crouched underneath a bush, praying it would conceal him long enough to throw off his pursuers, though he was feeling rather doubtful about that. In fact, he was rather terrified at this point; the worst enemy was one you couldn't see.  
  
"That's weird, the fog is never this heavy when it rains," Dipper mused aloud, but Bill shushed him, angrily glaring at him to be quiet. "What are we even running from?"  
  
As if in response, a loud thump sounded on the ground on the other side of the bush.  
  
Dipper held his breath. Bill let out a soft whimper, shuddering. 

"No, no, no, this is bad. I'm leaving."

"What?!" Dipper hissed, glaring at the triangle with a mixture of resentment and fear. "You're going to leave me _now_?!"

"I'll return," he promised quickly, but Dipper wasn't sure if he believed the demon. Before the teen could say another word, Bill's form faded and vanished.

Dipper groaned. It wasn't as though Bill was ever any help, but now his only potential lifeline was gone.  
  
More thumps sounded around the tree, and Dipper quickly realized he was completely surrounded.  
  
"Out with thee!" A booming voice sounded. Dipper blanched, but decided against resisting and stepped out, walking into the clearing. [A group of tall figures instantly closed in around him.](http://obsidianchameleon.tumblr.com/post/98516687110/a-few-character-designs-and-concepts-for-chapter-2) They towered at least eight feet high, and the largest one seemed over nine feet tall. The creatures were monkey-like in appearance with silvery-white, glistening fur that shimmered in the rain. A thick mist swirled around their chests and tail, along with strands of smoke seeping from their limbs.  
  
"You have something of ours," the largest creature declared, her deep voice stern. She walked right up to Dipper, and the others mimicked her movement, closing the circle further. The leader peered down at him, scrunching her nose as if she caught a whiff of something foul. "You reek of Ignis. And sweat," she added distastefully.

Dipper paled at her words, cowering slightly as he reached into his pocket as quickly as he could. He'd dealt with sentient supernatural creatures before, but these beings gave off an air of archaic knowledge and power, and he felt it wouldn't be a good idea to resist. Without a word, he pulled out the marble, which was snatched quickly from his grasp. The leader twirled it in her fingers, glancing between the object and the tiny human in front of her.

"We Madrone Monkeys were given the eternal task of protecting this Aquam relic from ignoramuses and Ignis scum such as you. Do you even comprehend the enormous power you have disturbed?"

Dipper remained paralyzed in fear. Bill's words echoed in his mind. _No wonder; that's an Aquam relic_ , he had said. _You should toss that, it's_ filth.

So now Ignis was filth. Funny how perspective worked like that, Dipper thought grimly.

"Tell me, mortal, why did you take this stone?"

Dipper tried to answer, but a huge lump swelled in his throat. "It... it fell from the cross and I... I took it. It just seemed... right," he managed to choke out, his voice faltering. He cringed, trying to prepare himself for whatever wrath lay in store for him.

The monkey tilted her head. "It fell, you say?"

"Y-yeah, I barely touched it and it just fell off as if it never belonged..."

The leader stooped down slightly, touching a hand to his shoulder. Her stoic expression changed to one of mild bemusement. "Strange," she murmured. "You have a powerful presence of Ignis around you, yet I can feel just the tiniest trace of Aquam deep within." Upon noticing Dipper's blatant confusion, she continued, "The stone only reacts to beings affiliated with Aquam. Tell me, are you in possession of another relic?"

"No, but I have an Ignis frie- acquaintance," Dipper corrected hastily. "He's not here, though."

"He must have a very powerful aura, then, for it to leave such a mark upon you," she asserted, then smirked. "I'm guessing he did not enjoy the nearby area."

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"This relic is known to deter those of Ignis. However, it has not done so in years; it has remained dormant for years now, though for the last few days it has suddenly become active again." The leader looked at Dipper strangely. "Perhaps it has reacted to you for a reason, then."

"Me?" Dipper looked surprised.

A murmur of disagreement ran through the crowd around him, which had remained silent until that moment. Dipper shrunk in on himself again; even the smallest monkey was at least two feet taller and twice as wide as him. Yet to his relief, the leader straightened up, causing the rest of the band to fall silent.

"The way objects like this work is beyond comprehension, impossible to fully understand. The relic has remained locked in place for over a century, not stirring once. For it to become an active force once more is quite peculiar. Perhaps it is time for a change," she mused, pressing the stone into Dipper's palm. The teen look flabbergasted at the sudden change in spirit, shaking his head and attempting to give the relic back to her. He'd dealt with powerful magical objects enough to understand that they could be quite dangerous in the wrong hands, and he wasn't sure if he was ready to juggle Bill and the stone – two opposing forces – at the same time.

"I'm not sure if I should have such an item. It's probably not... Not right for me... He said not to keep it, maybe he was right."

"By 'he' you mean your Ignis friend?" The female asked, turning to Dipper, curious. "Someone well-versed in magic told you to stay away from something, and you ignored him?"

"Well... I'm not really sure why I didn't listen to him, taking it just seemed like what I needed to do... I'm not so sure now..."

"Do not be so unsure, mortal. Trust the relic's intuition," the monkey replied kindly.

"What?"

"Do you not feel it?"

Dipper glanced around himself in confusion. "Feel what?"

"The relic began settling into back into its dormant state right after I placed it in your hand. It is a sign it is in the right place," she explained.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you should take care of it. Perhaps you will be a better guardian than we, now. For years we have watched over it in its location, but alas, the structure designed to harbor it has begun to deteriorate. We have tried to patch it up, but the forces of nature have managed to overcome this humble construction of man."

"Hold on. If I may ask, was it you who were peeling the bark from the trees? I saw huge gashes in the trees about a mile away," Dipper asked.

"Indeed, it is all the resources we had. Moss and bark held up for some time, but the foundation of the building continues to crumble."

"And the foam? Under every clawed tree by the river was foam lining the shore."

The monkey looked almost pleased with how inquisitive an observant the human was. Surely he would take care of the relic, she thought before answering him: "The mist emanating from our body occasionally forms clusters instead of dissipating, particularly when in contact with water. It is a side effect of Aquam magic."

"I see, thank you. I'll... I'll try to protect the relic then," Dipper promised, looking down at the stone in his hand.

The monkey smiled warmly. "Thank you, Dipper. Please, do not be shocked," she added quickly, noting the teen's perplexed stare. "Names, even nicknames, are something many creatures of our caliber can sense. Speaking of which, my name is Amadare. It was a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

"Thanks, you too."

"Perhaps we can meet again one day, but for now, we must depart. Farewell, traveler."

With a gesture from their leader, the monkeys jumped up into the trees soundlessly, a thin ring of mist left in their wake. The fog slowly dispersed, and the rain had slowed to a quiet drizzle. With a slow sigh letting out the tension and panic he had been feeling, he leaned against the closest tree as he pulled out his compass, knees still weak from the encounter. He looked over the stone in his hand. He couldn't tell if it had an aura or not, but he noticed that it was a deep blue now, lacking the glow it seemed to have earlier. He tucked it away carefully into a pocket inside of his backpack, and started walking south once more.

"Hey, Pine Tree!"

Dipper jumped from the screech in his ear. He whirled around angrily, facing the demon.

"You! You totally left me back there!"

"Wouldn't you try to get out of a burning building?" Bill defended.

"Is this what I am to you?"

"What did you think? I'm not your bodyguard, I don't need to do anything for you," the demon sneered. "Unless we're talking deals. Then maybe I'll consider it."

Dipper groaned. What did he expect from the monster, anyway?

"You're calling _me_ a monster?" Bill answered his thoughts. "Those apes, now those were monsters!"

"Wait, you saw them?"

"Of course I did! I might not have been with you, but it's not like I can't see everything that's going on," Bill bragged. "And boy, were they terrible!"

"Definitely not as terrible as you," Dipper remarked.

"So let me see that pebble again," Bill requested, ignoring Dipper's comment.

Dipper shot him a dubious look. "No way, you'd probably just destroy it when I'm not looking."

"Oh, I would do that in a heartbeat if I could, Pine Tree, but sadly, it takes a lot to destroy relics. Nah, I just want to make sure it's fine."

Shrugging, Dipper pulled out the relic, holding it out for the triangle to look at. Bill gazed at it intently, then flicked it a few times with his fingers.

"Just like a rock, not a trace of magic!" he concluded. "Good! We can move on now!"

With that, Dipper tucked the stone away into his bag, and started walking again.

"So what did she mean that I have Aquam in me? Am I cursed or something?" Dipper asked.

Bill snorted. "If someone told _me_ that, I would think so. But no, sometimes – I've only ever encountered a few cases – humans that come in contact with magic end up having a little surface up, though it's impossible to predict which kind. Well, you did spend many summers in a place that leaked magic, so I guess it makes sense you'd have a little in you. Honestly, if I were you, I wouldn't get too excited. It takes many years and many bits of your soul to have any sort of control over it."

Dipper just nodded, but then frowned. "Speaking of my summer home, we're getting really far away from Gravity Falls. Where are all of these creatures coming from? I was hoping we'd seen the last of them with the Wolfbear."

"You think you've seen it all in that hick town? Boy, you sure have a lot of learning to do..." The triangle trailed off, pausing for a dramatic moment. "Of course you haven't seen the last bits of magic. You'll be seeing me every day, kid!"

Dipper laughed, "Oh, whatever. I know your weakness now."

"Hah, sure you do."

"Yep," Dipper confirmed. "One day, when you're distracted, I'm going to pour an entire bucket of water on you, and you wouldn't be able to do a thing."

"I told you already, I don't melt! Water itself doesn't hurt me!"

"I'll find a way," he assured him.

As he walked, he spotted a fallen log and strode over to it, pulling out his journal as he settled down.

"What are you doing?" Bill asked, floating over. "Aren't we going to go already?"

"I wanted to sketch out and describe the Madrone Monkeys while my memories of them are fresh. I may as well document everything I come across."

"Hm, suit yourself. Just don't leave notes that are too cryptic. If you lose your journal, you might make some twelve year old go crazy trying to find everything," Bill quipped. With light banter, they talked the morning away, the forest peaceful again after the storm.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Madrone Monkeys are based on a local urban legend, though I have deviated from the original canon.
> 
> The subdivision of magic I have begun to touch upon is a concept I have pretty much worked out in my head for the benefit of the story, which is does differ slightly from the magic in canon. Primarily, it is used as a classification tool, but it helps to explain some of the subtleties in the story.
> 
> For those interested, I will try to get a complete outline of the magic posted by next chapter.

**Author's Note:**

> I will admit; my headcanons are not the most perfect. I will say right here that this was written from a more personal point of view, and given that I relate quite a bit with Dipper on many levels, I naturally channeled quite a bit of myself into this, purposefully or not. I have multiple variations on Dipper's character in the future, but I have chosen to go with this particular one. It is only one of many possibilities and directions I could have taken this, and I hope it's reasonable enough for the concept at hand.
> 
> I have also considered writing Mabel into this, but I most likely will not, albeit a cameo is possible. While she would be very likely to accompany Dipper on such an excursion, I wanted to focus primarily on Dipper, and, going by the advice of my favorite twins eveningrun and lightningkitsune, as well as acknowledging this as this is a coming of age story (I’ve been fondly referring to it as a bildungsroman, though it’s probably not worthy of such a grandiose title), I figured that to find himself, Dipper must do so alone. Again, this is not a serious work and is merely an outlet for myself as I find my own place in this world and distract myself with thoughts of the beautiful expanse of the natural world, where much of the story is to take place.
> 
> The introduction (first few paragraphs, really) is meant to be brief and does not factor in too greatly with the plot. If anything, feel free to assume other beginnings, such as Dipper getting kicked out of his home ( possibility I considered), or any other possible premise for the story. This is a meant to be a malleable au with many variations, and the first few paragraphs are merely to serve as a loose tie in. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, and I hope to keep you updated relatively soon.


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